What is a Rules Girl? | Danielle the Dating Coach

The "Rules Girl" Profile

Core Characteristics

Mysterious & Intriguing
- She maintains an air of mystery and doesn't reveal everything about herself too quickly
- She's honest but keeps him curious and wanting to know more
- She's described as a "Creature Unlike Any Other" — unique, confident, and not easily predictable

Values Her Time
- She doesn't drop everything for a man
- She keeps her schedule full and doesn't accept last-minute dates (no Saturday plans after Wednesday)
- She always ends dates and phone calls first — leaving him wanting more

Measured Communication
- She doesn't initiate contact or chase men
- She rarely returns calls and never talks too much
- She lets him pursue her

Sets High Standards
- She expects romantic gestures (gifts for birthdays, Valentine's Day)
- She doesn't "go Dutch" or meet him halfway
- She won't settle for a man who doesn't make effort

Takes Things Slowly
- No rushing into physical intimacy
- Only casual kissing on first dates
- Doesn't move in together or leave belongings at his place prematurely
- Slowly introduces him to family/children

Non-Controlling
- She doesn't tell him what to do or try to change him
- She lets him take the lead in the relationship
- She's "easy to live with" — not demanding or difficult

Self-Respecting
- She only loves those who love her back
- She moves on quickly from rejection ("Next!")
- She avoids married men and unhealthy relationships
- She prioritizes self-care and personal growth

In Summary

A Rules Girl is a woman who plays "hard to get" strategically — she's confident, self-sufficient, and creates scarcity to increase her perceived value. She believes that by not being too available or eager, she inspires a man to pursue, commit, and cherish her. She follows these guidelines consistently, regardless of outside opinions, even into marriage.

Note: These rules come from the book "The Rules" by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider (1995), which was controversial for its traditional and somewhat game-playing approach to dating. Many modern relationship experts critique this approach as manipulative or outdated.

ANOTHER IDEA

The Rules: Time-tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right

What It Means to Be a “Rules” Girl

Being a Rules girl means living by a set of principles that help you build self-respect, attract the right partner, and create a healthy, lasting relationship. Here’s what it truly means:

1. You Value Yourself

You believe you deserve love and respect.
You don’t settle for less than you’re worth.
You set clear boundaries and stick to them.

2. You Keep Some Mystery

You don’t reveal everything about yourself too soon.
You stay independent, with your own life, hobbies, and interests.
You avoid being too available—this keeps a man interested and chasing you.

3. You Take Things Slow

You don’t rush into emotional or physical intimacy.
You let the relationship develop naturally.
You focus on long-term potential, not short-term excitement.

4. You Make Smart Choices

You don’t act out of fear (“What if no one else likes me?”) or desperation.
You think strategically about what’s best for your future.
You avoid needy or clingy behavior.

5. You Present Your Best Self

You take care of your appearance (not for him, but for you).
You act confident—even if you have to fake it at first.
Good posture, eye contact, and a positive attitude go a long way.

6. You Communicate Wisely

You listen more than you talk.
You don’t overshare early on.
You keep conversations light and fun—no heavy relationship talks too soon.

7. You Handle Dating with Grace

You don’t chase or beg for attention.
You don’t bring up exes or past drama.
You let him take the lead while staying true to yourself.

8. You Encourage Commitment Naturally

You don’t pressure him—you let him want to commit.
You stay classy, consistent, and supportive.
You keep the spark alive by staying a little unpredictable.

Final Thought

Being a Rules girl isn’t about playing games—it’s about self-respect. When you follow these principles, you attract men who are serious, respectful, and eager to commit. Most importantly, you build a love life where you’re happy—with or without a partner.